Beatle Rap / The Qworymen

Paul: Hello, lads. Why don't we do a Buddy Holly number?
John: You know, you know my name, look up the number.
George: Number nine...number nine...
John: What a shame, Mary Jane had a pain at the party.
George: I've just seen a face, and it's Ringo's!

Ringo: Well, my name is Ringo, and that ain't lingo,
'Cause I'm the greatest star.
Well, I ain't no bummer, I'm a hummer of a drummer,
And I've gone pretty far.
I've got a yellow sub and a caveman's club
To beat on all me skins.
I even got me a Magic Christian
To pardon all me sins.
I got a bird named Bach who loves to rock,
She's a woman who understands.
But if she ever left me, I'd have to get me
A lonely heart's club band.
Now I'd like to introduce you all
To a lad who's on the ball.
He plays bass with a lot of taste,
And he goes by the name of Paul.
Take it away, Pauly.
Ah, is this your grandfather, then? He's very clean.
Paul: Ringo, we'll call you.
Ringo: I'll be out paradin' then.

Paul: Well, me name is Paul, and I do it all,
Like write and sing and play.
But for all me money, it might be funny,
I still long for yesterday.
Now I might have a smile that's longer than a mile,
But don't think it's all been fun.
George: It hasn't.
Paul: I've been arrested for drugs, mobbed and mugged,
And had a band that's on the run, y'see.
I've been throw in jail, gotten hate mail,
Even told that I was dead.
Had herds of birds threaten me life
Just 'cause I wanted to wed, you see.
Now I'd like to introduce you to
A man who found the Lord.
He plays a mean sitar, rhythm guitar,
And he goes by the name of George.
George, hey, we'll let you sing one now.

George: I'll sing if you want me to sing,
And I won't sing if you don't want me to sing.
Well, I just might be the baby of the bunch,
But I'm also the most hip.
From the Maharishi to Hare Krsna,
I started every trip.
John: What's he talking about?
George: Hare hare.
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da.
Yeah, yeah, let it be, let it be.
La la la, la la, hey Jude.
Love is all you need.
My sweet, he's so fine.
I do it all, they just never give me any credits.
John: All right, lad, your time's up.
George: Ooh, now let me introduce you to
The chap who takes no crap.
His name is John and he's goin' on
'Cause he still likes to rap.
Hey John, no be-bop-a-lulas, all right?
We've gotta do the real thing this time.
John: Fair enough.
George: OK, you ready?
John: Aye.
George: All right, here's Johnny.

John: Well, my name is John, and I'm always on,
And I'm speakin' with my voice.
I write rock and pop, and me head's a mop,
I've got a psychedelic Rolls Royce (for sale).
Now, they called me loco when I married Yoko,
But she's a gal who's on the bean.
She buys a sack of potatoes, throws out the potatoes,
And hides inside and screams
You're an eggplant, and the sister's an aunt,
And I want to jump up your nose.
I love New York City, my Aunt Mimi,
And words that rhyme with orange.

What a load of rubbish!
I can't believe this!
Who wrote this thing?
Paul: Don't you remember? We did, John.
John: You know, we used to be fab and gear and stuff like that. What's going...we reformed for this?
Ringo: I remember when we used to make good records.
John: Goo goo g'joob too. Goo goo g'joob to you too, and to you, and to you, and to me, and everyone here! All together now!
George: All right, I did the record, but I don't want to play live. Has anybody seen me old brown shoes?
Ringo: Oh, they've put me in the movies, haven't they?
John: Anybody want to buy some lithos, signed?
George: Scrambled eggs.
All: Ah, ah, ah, ah!