How To Finger a Women. Learn these great fingering techniques to blow her mind!
1. Try to touch her the way you touch yourself. Jennifer says the biggest tip she can give on how to be an A+ finger-smith is to touch your partner the way you'd touch yourself. From there, you can check in with her to see what's working and what's not, but starting with, "Well, this is what I do" just makes sense. That said…
2. But what you like might be the complete opposite of what she likes. I've found this to be true with a lot of women because we're all so damn different. I had an ex who loved having her clit jackhammered, which was odd to me since that's my personal idea of hell. But I just rolled with it and trusted that she really did love that and I wasn't secretly torturing her. Different strokes, man. In the most literal sense.
3. If all else fails, have her show you what she likes. Victoria, 33, host of the sex podcast Livin' and Lovin' in NYC says that if you're comfortable with a partner, it can be helpful to have them straight-up show you how they like to touch themselves. This is pretty much the only sex act where you can ask someone to show you how they do it (good luck getting someone to do that with cunnilingus), so use that! Plus, as Victoria adds, "It's also hot to watch."
4. Switch up how you touch her. While it's great to get into a rhythm that you know works for your partner, Kendra still recommends trying some new moves once in a while. Kendra says, "Go from lightly rubbing her clit to swirling around it with your middle finger. Or move in and out of her vagina with two fingers while circling her clitoris with your thumb. You can easily get an orgasm out of someone with your hands if you want to."
5. Don't actually "bang" her with your fingers. Just because it's sometimes referred to as "finger-banging" doesn't mean you should literally do that. Plus, Kendra adds, "Moving in and out super-fast like you're poking a fish tank with just one finger doesn't really do anything. It gets you excited that something might happen and then you're just sitting there awkwardly." And sadly, it's that kind of fingering that leads women to believe they hate fingering. Remember, it's a finger and not a penis. Use that to your advantage and hit her clit, then go into her vagina, or move your fingers around her vulva. It truly is a choose your own adventure of sex acts.
6. No, there's not just one fingering position. Victoria recommends having the person you're fingering lie on top of your fingers (or hand) and push themselves against it. Not only is it hot, but it's also another great way to feel out where they like to be touched without having to specifically ask.
7. You have two hands. Use them both. Whether that means you're playing with her boobs with one hand or running your fingers through her hair while touching her clitoris, you have two hands at your disposal. Don't waste them.
8. Cut. Your. Freaking. Nails. So many queer friends have been scratched by a girl (and yes, that means scratched in their vagina), and it is the worst. Kendra says she's even had someone draw blood and then ask if she was on her period. She had to tell them, "No, hon. You clawed my vagina." If your fingers are going near a vagina any time soon, cut those nails, dude.
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